


Bent

by momiji_neyuki, thePetetoherPatrick



Series: Clueless!Gerard [8]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Aftercare, Cheating, Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Recreational Drug Use, Songfic, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/pseuds/momiji_neyuki, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thePetetoherPatrick/pseuds/thePetetoherPatrick
Summary: Can you help me I'm bentI'm so scared that I'll neverGet put back together





	1. Bent

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So I decided to collaborate with someone that I met from my Twitter who is an amazing writer, you need to check out her Fallen Angels and Soulmarks series! ^-^
> 
> So I had this idea for a song fic using the song Bent by Matchbox 20. It really is an amazing song, you should check it out before reading and fic...although the video is a bit bizarre. ^0^
> 
> Still As I listened to the song I knew there was a fic in there and it has been a while since i wrote a Waycest so I thought why not. When I "met" thePetetoherPatrick and started to talk with them more, I decided they were the perfect person to write this with. So with me being the Mikey to her Gerard...see what i did there? this is our creation.
> 
> It's actually longer, but when i matched the song lyrics in the second part did not go well, so there will be a little sidebar to it soon. ^-^
> 
> Please enjoy guys and check out the vid!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=969RAKkYESU

"Gerard I wish there was something more that I could say to you."

Frank hung up before he slipped and said I love you. He did still love Gerard very much, but the idea of a long distance relationship, especially across the country in fucking California, just didn’t sit right with Gerard. He expected Frank to be angry at him for dumping him, but not for a whole year. Still, he accepted his fate, so he was shocked to get a Facebook message from Frank after that. They started talking and slowly building their friendship back up. It took a while, but now they were best friends again. Gerard even introduced him to some cool people that he had met, his friend Ray being the best one. After a few months texting, Frank and Ray realized that they both had a love of the same bands and they both played guitar. Frank would call anyone crazy if they told him that soon he would be jamming with someone across the country over Skype while his ex-boyfriend warbled lyrics in the background. Usually, when Gerard and he were Skyping it was fun, but not this time. Frank felt his heart break a little when Gerard told him what was happening to his little brother. He wanted to kill the slut that did this to him. The problem wasn't even a slut. It was a sweet boy named Patrick who caught Mikey's boyfriend's eye. Poor Mikey and Patrick had no idea that Pete was playing them both. When they found out, Mikey lashed out and Pete shut him down by choosing Patrick. Patrick did not know what to do so he just agreed. The next week at school Pete was proudly holding Patrick's hand and Patrick was wearing his class ring. That’s when Mikey became the ghost he is now. Two months later and still nothing, Gerard mentioned he was hoping that in December when they went back to jersey to visit relatives that might snap Mikey out, but now he was talking about not going. This caused a huge fight with their parents.

_”Why are you behaving like this? It was just a little relationship!”_

_”How can you say that! He was my everything!”_

_”Son, do you know how many girls I dated before I met your mother?”_

_”I don’t care! I’m not you!”_

Frank was on Skype at the time with Gerard and heard everything. The fight went on with Donna interjecting here and there, but it was mostly Don doing the talking. Then they heard the door slam and knew Mikey left the house. Around one AM, Frank and he were about to get off Skype when Mikey knocked on the basement window.

“Ugh, I gotta go, Frankie, I talk to you tomorrow.”

“Don’t be so hard on him okay Gee. Night.”

Gerard turned away from the computer and let Mikey in. Mikey headed straight for the bathroom and locked the door.

"Goddammit Mikey,"

 Gerard muttered under his breath. He felt bad for his brother, he really did, but this was about the fourth time in as many days. At some point, enough is absolutely enough.

 "Mikey, come on man, open the damn door and talk to me."

 Gerard banged on the door.

"I just want to help, and I can't do that if you won't let me."

Gerard listened but heard nothing. There was a good chance Mikey probably fell asleep in the tub again and there was no way to get to him till he came out in the morning, or more accurately early afternoon. He shakes his head and decides that he's getting nowhere with him tonight, he might as well go to bed and be awake before Mikey tomorrow, waiting for him to open that damn door. He makes a mental note to take the lock off the door so Mikey can't lock himself in there anymore.

*

*

*

Mikey woke up and his whole body hurt. He decided that maybe drinking at home was better than at the bar. He could be comfortable in his own bed. Ray could get him the alcohol. It would be easy to bribe him with some choice weed and he could get the best from Andy and Joe...although, they are Pete's friends.

"Fuck."

Mikey got up and stepped out of the tub. He pissed and then opened the door. It was still slightly dark so it was probably before six. He saw Gerard still asleep. He crawled into bed knowing he was not going to school today. He curled up in Pete's hoodie, which still smelled a little like him. He didn't dare wear it out at school for fear Pete would demand it back. He saw Patrick wearing one of Pete’s other hoodies so he figured he was safe. He looked at the clock.

"5:30. Perfect."

Mikey snuggled into his covers and hoodie and went back to a fitful sleep.

*

*

*

Gerard opened his eyes squinting at the brightness of the sun in his face and cursing himself for not closing the curtain after he helped Mikey in through the window. He looks over at his brother's bed and sees him curled up under several blankets. He must have moved there early in the morning. Gerard doesn't even bother getting dressed. He goes upstairs in his pajamas and grabs the first screwdriver of his father's he can find and toddles back downstairs directly to the bathroom door. He looks at the stupid lock for a second and makes sure he's got the right kind of screwdriver. He may not be handy but this isn't real complicated. He looks back at Mikey and notices he's wearing a hoody in bed.

 "That'd better not be Pete's."

He mutters to himself as he sets to work on taking the lock off, it's just a slide lock but it's enough to keep the door closed on the inside. The doorknob has one of those holes in it that you can unlock it from the outside still so there is some privacy, but not like before where he couldn’t get in at all.  He takes it off without a fuss and takes the other piece off the door frame for good measure. He looks at Mikey again on his way to stash the lock in his desk. The teenager lays there snoring quietly and Gerard realizes upon closer examination that it is one of Pete's stupid hoodies. He groans in frustration and shoves the lock in the drawer and closes it. He takes the screwdriver back to where he found it and returns to the basement. He doesn't have to work today and Mikey isn't going to school hungover. He plops down on his bed with his sketchbook and decides to wait for Mikey to wake up.

"Gerard. Is your brother ready for school?"

Donna called down to their basement bedroom.

"No and I don't think he's going, he said he wasn't feeling great last night and he feels kinda warm this morning."

Gerard calls back, praying she doesn't come down to check. If she finds out Mikey was out drinking all night they'll both be screwed. Gerard holds his breath for a second.

"Alright, well your father is leaving for his business trip and I will be staying with your aunt Genna while Uncle Joe is in the hospital. There is food money and you have the cell numbers of course."

"Ok, thanks, we'll be fine and I'll keep an eye on him, and I'll make sure to call you if he gets any worse." Gerard sighs in relief, he can't believe his luck. At least he'll be able to deal with Mikey without worrying about their parents finding out. Donna finding out is bad enough but if their dad found out then Mikey was done for and Gerard would likely go down with him as an accomplice for sneaking him back in and lying for him.

"You father will be home by Monday and if things go well, I should be home by Friday, otherwise you have to watch Mikey over the weekend too."

"That's fine, he's not real hard to look after."

Gerard sits there, listening for any indication she'll actually leave, or go elsewhere at the very least. She's gonna wake up Mikey if she keeps hollering like that.

"I'll call you when I get there. Give Mikey a kiss for me."

Then she was gone.

*groan*

"Mikey is getting a slap upside the head, that's what he's getting."

Gerard mumbled to himself, going back to the sketch in his book. He looks over at Mikey and shakes his head. He's lucky Gerard didn't just hand him over for judgment and claim innocence. He shakes his head at the shit he goes through for his little brother

*groan*

"Ugh, too bright."

Gerard looks up at the sound of his brother's gravelly voice.

 "Yeah, well you should have thought of that before you went and got yourself a hangover stupid."

"Fuck y-you Gee, urk, I think I'm gonna be..."

"Oh for fuck sakes."

Gerard throws aside his sketchbook and grabs the thankfully empty garbage bucket and brings it quickly up to Mikey's head before he empties the sad contents of his stomach into it. Once Mikey is finished he falls back against his pillow panting. His eyes close and he is out again.

*

*

*

Gerard looks at his phone and the latest text from Frank. He's got no good advice beyond *Dude he's a sixteen-year-old, he'll get over it when he gets laid*. Gerard cringed at that. That would require getting him out of bed and out of the house in a decent looking state. It's already afternoon.

"Alright, Mikey, time to get up."

He gets up and walks over to his brother's bed.

 "It's time to get your lazy, hungover ass out of this bed and get dressed."

"Sleeping."

Mikey rolled over and snuggled into  the covers more.

"Oh no, you don't, get up."

Gerard grumbles and pulls at the blankets till he gets a good enough grip to pull the blankets away from Mikey entirely, leaving him lying there in his pajamas and that stupid hoodie.

"I hate you."

Mikey sits up and rubs his eyes. His hair looks like a rooster got in a fight and lost and his glasses are half on half off.

"*yawn* What time is it?"

"You can hate me all you want."

Gerard rolls his eyes.

 "And it's like three in the afternoon. You've been in bed all day."

"Coffee?"

"Get out of bed and I might think about making a pot."

Mikey groaned and rolled out. He wrapped his hands around his chest and pushed his nose into the fabric of the hoodie inhaling lightly.

"'M up."

Gerard rolls his eyes again and turned to head upstairs.

 "That's one step in the right direction."

He climbed the stairs and headed for the kitchen. Mikey stumbled after him. He flopped on the stool at the breakfast counter.

"Tell the world to stop moving."

"Tell it yourself."

Gerard sets up the coffee maker.

"Maybe that'll teach you to quit drinking."

The coffee maker starts to gurgle and work. Gerard digs out a couple of coffee mugs and sets them on the counter.

"So are you gonna talk to me today? I tried to talk to you last night but you had the bright idea to lock yourself in the bathroom."

"Nothin' to say that you want to hear."

Mikey pulls into himself burying his head in the hoodie.

"Try me, kid, I'm sure I've heard it before."

Gerard takes a second to glare at Mikey before he goes about adding the right amount of sugar and milk to each cup.

 "I'm your brother and I thought we could talk about anything but you keep shutting me out and pushing me away. I just want to help."

"Help how Gee? Telling me that I am just being stupid? That I am just a kid? That I can just get over it?!"

"How do you know I don't have some kind of advice or a way to take your mind off it or even a fucking hug if it's required if you won't tell me what's going on inside your head."

Gerard sets the sugar spoon down and turns around to face his brother. The kid looks pathetic cuddled up in his ex's hoodie.

"I know he hurt you, trust me I'd kick his ass if I thought I could, but honestly if you tried, you could get over him. He obviously didn't care about you as much as he should have and you deserve better than that."

"Like I said, you sound like everyone else."

Mikey pushed away from the counter. He walked into the living room and slipped his shoes on.

"Don't wait up."

He grabbed his coat and left slamming the door.

"Goddammit, Mikey!"

Gerard looks at the coffee machine that finally spits out the last bit of coffee.

"Oh, you couldn't have done that a couple minutes ago, you traitorous piece of trash."

He mutters at the coffee maker.

"What am I gonna do with Mikey? Wait did he just leave in his pajamas and that damn hoodie?"

He's got a pretty good idea of where Mikey is headed and even if he's not there he can't be that hard to find. Gerard runs back upstairs and grabs his shoes on the way to the door. He locks the door behind him and makes sure he's got his phone, wallet, and keys.

"I have got to find a way to knock some sense into this kid."

*

*

*

*Gee, just please think before you do anything stupid. *

Frank last text to Gerard sat unread. Frank was worried. He knew how upset his ex was and how it caused him to be rash. Frank felt helpless being in fucking New Jersey. He was too young to just hop a plane across the country. He hoped Gerard read the text soon. Keeping his phone close, Frank went back to his movie.

* * *

Mikey was lost in his head. He wandered around the club holding the beer bottle thanks to Ray of course. He had stopped at a friend’s house and borrowed a pair of jeans. He kind of felt stupid that he left the house in pajamas. He didn’t bother with a shirt, though, just kept the hoodie on. It was November, but it was still kind of warm, not like when they lived in New Jersey and he would already be wearing a winter coat. Fuck, he missed their old home. Life was so much easier then. He was younger and didn’t have to deal with things like feelings and relationships. The only person he had feelings for back then…well, he won’t go there. Even back then he had some competition, but it wasn’t so bad. He used to hang out with them and they never made him feel like he was intruding. He had friends and he had… Mikey shook his head a took another drink. He wasn’t drunk, but he was a little buzzed from the joint that he shared with Ray on his break. Mikey was tall for his age and being miserable made him look older so no one questioned him. A few people asked him to dance or wanted to buy him a drink. He took the offers of the drinks, but he wasn’t looking to hook up, just to be numb. He found a spot in a dark corner and curled up there. He was tired of seeing happy people when he was so miserable. Moving made him miserable. Pete made him miserable. His brother not understanding him made him miserable. His brother not… Mikey took another drink and willed his brain not to go there.

“Hey man, you okay?”

Random guy looked down at Mikey. Mikey tried to smile as he looked up.

“Yeah man, just trying to mellow out a bit, shit on my mind, you know.”

He hoped the guy would go away, but instead he sits down.

“Sucks man. I might have something for you, though. Something that would help?”

“I’m broke man, sorry.”

“No charge, you just look like you could use a pick me up and a friend.”

Mikey looked at the guy.

“Mikey.”

“Bob, nice to meet you.”

Bob and he sat and talked for a bit and nursed some beers. Mikey liked talking to Bob. He didn’t want anything more from him. When Bob and he parted, Mikey had a baggie with six white pills in it. He said it will help his problems float away. Mikey wasn’t sure he believed him, but he kept the baggie anyway.

*

*

*

Gerard was borderline growling by the time he got home, Mikey wasn't where he'd thought he'd be. He unlocked the door and walked inside. He spent all day looking for his idiot kid brother and hadn't managed to find him. His parents would kill him if he lost Mikey but there was nothing he could do at this point. He had to wait for Mikey to come home on his own.  He flopped onto the couch and checked his phone, he'd set it so only phone calls would ring. A text from Frank and several from Ray, well that's great. He flipped through Ray's first, nothing of interest just trying to get him to come to the club or whatever. He shook his head and checked what Frank had to say. He feels anger bubble in his chest and texts back quickly.

_*What the hell does that mean? What could I possibly do at this point that would be considered stupid in the present situation?*_

He knew as soon as he sent it that he should've been nicer but Frank was out of line in his mind. All Gerard wanted was to help his brother, make him feel better, take away the hurt. He couldn't do that if Mikey refused to let him but he wasn't about to give up on his brother.

_*Tell me, what you are going to do when you find him?*_

_*I don't know_ anymore _Frank, I tried to get him to talk to me but he said I was just like everyone else and disappeared and I don't know where he went.*_

Gerard was surprised Frank even answered the last text, let alone wasn't pissed about his attitude.

_*Well what did you say?*_

_*That I want to help him but that he's gotta talk to me for me to be able to do that.....and that he deserved better than someone who obviously didn't care about him all that much in the first place.*_

 Gerard cringes as he types it out, realizing how cliché that sounds, but sends it anyway. Then Gerard realizes something he missed that may have been part of his fuck up.

_*I may also have told him he could get over Pete if he wanted to...*_

He hits send and immediately wants to shove his face into the corner of the couch for being so stupid.

_*Oh man Gee really? That's what your dad said. No wonder he ran off. Lucky for you I, your brilliant ex and best friend, have solved your problem.*_

Gerard reads this and groans.

_*Oh yeah and how might you have done that?*_

 Gerard hits send.

"Brilliant my ass."

He mutters aloud.

"We'll see what you've got to offer first before we go calling anyone brilliant."

_*You've been ignoring Ray's texts haven’t you?"_

_*He just wants me to come to the stupid club, my brother is M.I.A. and probably getting himself into trouble, I don't really feel like hanging out with Ray.*_

_*Gerard...since when does Ray ever want you to go to the club with him?*_

_*I don't know, maybe his buddies are too busy for his crap. And you're one to talk Iero.*_

_*Gee...call Ray.*_

*Whatever, fine, I'll humor you and see what the hell he want.*

 Gerard hits send and flips through his phone to find Ray's contact. He hits the call button and puts the phone to his ear.

"Gerard, geez man, took you long enough!"

Ray was whispering so no one could hear him.

"Dude, I've been a little busy trying to find Mikey."

"That's why I have been texting you! He's here!"

"Wait what? What you mean 'he's here!?"

 Gerard sits bolt upright.

 "What the hell!?"

"I couldn't call you earlier cause I was keeping an eye on him. Now I have him sleeping...well passed out in the back room. I had to keep working, but I locked the door. He's safe in there and he can take a leak if he needs to."

"Oh for crying out loud, you have got to be kidding me."

Gerard rests his face in his hand.

"That's your reaction? That's what you have to say? Fuck you Gerard; I should have just stayed talking to Frank."

Ray hung up. There was a text waiting from Frank.

_*How did it go?*_

Gerard sits there dumbstruck for a second before answering. *how do you think it went?* he sends back.

_*You fucked up again. Gerard...what is it about Mikey that sets you off like this? You didn't like Pete when you met him even though he made Mikey happy. You were almost smug and bragging when he hurt him and now you are trying to force Mikey to just purge Pete out of his life. Why?*_

Gerard sits there and stares at his phone for a minute. Frank never says anything unless he's got a point to make; he doesn't care to waste the breath or effort, so if he's saying this it must be true.

_*I didn't like Pete cause you could tell by looking at the guy that he's a dick. Mikey is my brother, I love him and I don't want him to have to deal with that crap. Maybe I shouldn't have been such an ass when he left him...I'll give you that one...but Mikey has been moping and drinking and I'm worried about him. He deserves better than to be hurting like this and it's all because he can't seem to bring himself to let go of what he felt for this idiot that HURT HIM!*_

_*You can't force him Gee...you should know that, look what happened to us?*_

_*Well what am I supposed to do then? Let him ruin himself over this and what is that supposed to mean?* Gerard glares at his phone and hits send. Frank had better have a point here or he'll be pretty pissed._

_*You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Night Gee, good luck*_

_*Night Frank.*_

He tosses his phone aside. That has got to be one of the most cliché and bullshit lines Frank has ever used. What the hell is Gerard supposed to do with that? Mikey doesn't want to hear anything he's got to say. He gets up and wanders out to the kitchen. He looks at the still full, and now gross, coffee pot. Mikey responded to being taken care of until Gerard fucked it up. He was okay to sit there and let his big brother make him a pot of coffee, he just didn't want to hear the same crap everyone else had been telling him or the judgmental 'get over it' lecture. Gerard internally kicked himself. He picked up the pot and dumped it down the drain, rinsed it out, and cleaning up the coffee maker. He looks at the clock and tried to guess when Mikey will be home but if he's sleeping like Ray said he was then he might not be back for a while. <hr />

_“I can call Gerard.”_

_“I’m alright Ray, seriously. I slept off the beer, I’m good.”_

_“I can give you…”_

_“_ No _, you can’t you’re working. Really I’ll be fine.”_

Mikey is regretting that whole conversation now. Before he left he took one of the pills that Bob gave him. This was not a smart idea cause apparently, all the alcohol was not out of his body and now he is woozy and doesn’t know where he is…or more like can’t read any of the street signs. He finally spots a familiar place, the park that’s not too far, well by car, from their house. He is nearly at the crawling stage now as he finds a tree and slumps down leaning on it. He pulls out his phone, but his eyes are having trouble focusing. He finds the speed dial button for his brother and hits it. He then slumps forward passing out.

Gerard hears his phone go off and sees Mikey's name pop up on the screen. He answers it immediately. "Mikey, what's going on? Are you okay?"

There's no way Mikey would be calling him right now if he was but he asks anyway.

Mikey can hear Gerard, but he has run out of voice.

Gerard listens but hears nothing.

"Mikey? Buddy? You okay?"

 He feels a little on edge. Wait, Mikey loses his voice easy when he's drunk, especially if he's been throwing up.

 "Mikey any kind of sound works if you can't talk, the keys make noise when you press them remember? You gotta give me something. Once for yes and twice for no if you can hear me."

Mikey tries to answer. He can hear how worried his brother is, but...

Gerard listens but hears nothing, he waits, trying to give Mikey a fair chance to respond but he doesn't. "Shit ok, I'm gonna put you on speaker phone but I'm coming to find you." The last thing he wants to do is hang up in case Mikey does manage to say something. He puts his phone on speaker and pulls up his text conversation with Frank.

_*Frank, I know you said good night but you know I suck at tech and I need your help man. Please text me back as soon as you get this.*_

He hits send.

_*Calm down Gee, I'm here.*_

_*Mikey called me but he's not talking I think he's lost his voice again, I've got him on the line still but I don't know how to figure out where he is. I tried the key tone thing but he didn't even respond to that.*_

_*Your whole family has a service plan that includes GPS. Use it to find him.*_

_*Frank I have no idea how to do that, I've never had to use it...how the hell did you know we had that?*_

_*You are an adorable tech idiot Gee.*_

Frank takes a moment to explain how Gerard can set the GPS up.

 _*Okay, now go get him and remember what I said_ *

 _*_ Thanks _, Frankie, love you.*_

 He shoves his feet in his shoes and starts tapping at his phone, following Frank's instructions exactly until a little blip named Mikey Way comes up on the map.  He sighs in relief, he's not too far away.

"Okay Mikey, I'm on my way, buddy."

He says and heads out the door. He doubts Mikey is gonna move at all but he still doesn't just walk. He needs to get to Mikey now if he can't talk and isn't moving he also can't defend himself and is likely either laying or sitting on the ground somewhere.

*

*

*

Mikey wakes up and finds himself with a face full of dirt. He managed to push himself up to lean against the tree again. He didn't know if he had even gotten Gerard on the phone. He didn't remember anything. All Mikey can feel is pain; pain in his chest, in his heart, and in his head. He is so tired of everything. He just wants one thing that he can count on in his life, just one. He slides back down into the dirt and starts to cry.

**If I fall along the way, pick me up and dust me off.**

Gerard follows the stupid little blip on his phone, half-jogging down the streets till he gets closer. Then he stops and looks around, the park is on the other side of the road but he can't see anything. Where the hell is he? He looks around but sees no obvious signs of his brother. It doesn't help that it's dark as hell out. He decides on trying to get even a grunt or a groan from him to go on. "Mikey?" he calls out and listens.

**And if I get too tired to make it, be my breath so I can walk.**

Mikey is so done with everything. It's all too much for him. If this is how he feels at 16, he doesn't want to wait to find out if it gets harder. Mikey reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little bag that Bob gave him at the club. He said all of his problems will float away on one pill. If that's true, maybe Mikey will float away if he takes them all.

**If I need some other love, give me more than I can stand.**

"Mikey?"

Gerard calls as he looks at his phone again, Mikey should be here unless he lost his phone. He crosses the street and warily looks around the dark area. He gets this sick feeling in his stomach. Something isn't right.

 "Where are you?"

He hears the crack in his voice and hopes that Mikey won't.

**And when my smile gets old and faded, wait around I'll smile again.**

Mikey looks up. He thought he heard something, but a car went by and the lights blinded him. He was nothing more than a boy in a park with nothing. He looked at the pills again and shook them out into his hands.

**Shouldn't be so complicated.**

Gerard takes a few tentative steps forward. Maybe he's misjudging the volume of his voice; if it's cracking it can't be as loud as he thinks it is.

"Mikey!?"

He calls out louder. He flips his phone around, which he realizes he accidentally hung up, and shines the screen light out into the park.

"Mikey please."

He pleads, hoping for any sign of life to show him where his brother is.

**Just hold me and then just hold me again.**

Mikey looks at the pills again. As he does he sees the hoodie. The thing he has been clinging to all this time. Suddenly he is angry. He throws the pills and rips off the hoodie. He has nothing on underneath and the temperature has dropped, but he doesn't care. He grabs the neck and pulls at it till it tears.

**Can you help me I'm bent?**

**I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together.**

Gerard hears something, nothing loud and not Mikey's familiar voice but it's movement. He looks around more alert now. He shines his phone around, casting light further into the park. He moves further into the dark, trying to keep quiet in case he hears the sound again.

**You're breaking me in and this is how we will end…**

Mikey's nails are broken and bleeding the same color as the hoodie. His glasses are gone and his hair is matted with blood, sweat, and tears. He is angry, hurt, and spent.

**with you and me…bent.**

Gerard catches a glimpse of something by the big oak tree in the center of the park. He shines the light of his phone screen at it. Gerard breaks into a run and finds Mikey sitting on the ground leaning against the trunk of the tree. He's is in jeans and no shirt.  Why is he not wearing a shirt? It's fucking cold out. Gerard unzips his hoodie and is grateful he wore a long sleeve under it today. He notices a million small things about his brother in that moment that make his heart hurt. Pete's hoodie is on the ground beside him and there is blood. Wait, why is there blood? Gerard's heart skips a beat and he freezes. Mikey has managed to hurt himself somehow. He can't see well enough in the dark to see what's happened so he settles for wrapping his hoodie about Mikey's thin frame and hugging him tight to his chest. It's then that Mikey acknowledges his brother's presence.

**If I couldn't sleep could you sleep?**

**Could you paint me better off?**

"G-G-Gee?"

"I'm right here Mikey."

 Gerard doesn't offer to let go of Mikey at all, he rubs his hand soothingly over Mikey's back.

**Could you sympathize with my needs?**

**I know you think I need a lot.**

"T-T-Take me home...p-please?"

"Ok buddy, can you stand if I help you?"

He speaks gently, his voice just loud enough for Mikey to hear him. Mikey fights to stand. His hands hurt and his head is pounding. He hangs onto Gerard as they make their way out of the park.

"W-Why did you...How did y-you?"

Mikey doesn't understand why Gerard is even here.

**I started out clean but I'm jaded.**

"How is simple…well not so simple for me.  Frankie told me how to find you using the GPS on your phone."

Gerard holds Mikey up the best he can.

"And as for why, because I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you. You called me and needed me so I found a way to be here for you."

**Just phoning it in.**

**Just breaking the skin.**

Mikey loses his ability to stand. He can't believe what Gerard just said. Was it always that easy? He just asks for his brother's help and he's there?

"Woah, alright, easy.”

Gerard stopped when Mikey fell, not letting go of him for a second.

 "Can you walk?"

**Can you help me I'm bent?**

**I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together.**

Mikey just whimpers. He feels useless. Like a burden on everyone, especially his brother. He doesn't know what to do or say anymore. He starts to cry again. Gerard's heart breaks at the sounds that come from Mikey as he cries. He hugs Mikey against him again, resting his face against the top of Mikey's head. He breathes deeply and calmly, trying not to cry at his brother being in this much pain. He does the only thing he can and scoops his brother up in his arms bridal style and stands up slowly. He holds Mikey close and as securely as he possibly can with how tall and lanky the kid is. He tries to remember what Mikey's favorite song is right now but for the life of him can't think of it. He settles on humming the lullaby their Grandmother used to sing to them. It was in Italian so Gerard never actually learned the words but he knows the tune.

**You're breaking me in and this is how we will end…**

Mikey just curls up in Gerard's arms. He is so tired that he falls asleep to the sound of his brother's voice and doesn't even know when they got home.

**With you and me…bent.**

When Gerard finally gets Mikey in the house and turns on a light and looks at his brother. He's got blood on his hand, neck, and face, as well as somehow in his hair. Gerard sets the sleeping teenager down and looks him over more carefully. He's also covered in dirt in spots. It looks like he clawed at his own neck and broken skin, his nail is kind of mangled too. He looks carefully at the wounds on his neck, they aren't serious thankfully as far as he can tell, some of the blood is from his fingers. Nothing some bandaging and a scarf won't fix. He picks him back up even though his arms feel like jelly, and carries him downstairs to their shared basement room and sets him on his bed. He needs to get him cleaned up before he can take care of the wounds on his neck but he can't really do that with Mikey unconscious and pinning his arms down.

"Come on Mikey, we're home."

Gerard whispers, trying to gently coax him into waking up.

 "Need you to wake up now, okay?"

He pushes his nose against the side of Mikey's face near the back of his jaw just by his ear, nudging him awake that way.

 "Come on, you gotta wake up and I need my arms back."

Mikey shifts slightly but doesn’t wake up. Still, he can free his hands now. Gerard's phone buzzes with a text from Frank.

_*Did you find him?*_

_*Yeah I did, thanks for helping.*_

Gerard sends back and looks at his brother, he may not want to wake up but he needs to.

_*So now what Gee? Are you going to finally tell him?*_

_*Tell him what Frankie?*_

_*Come on Gee. Think about it.*_

_*Did I miss something here?*_

Gerard looks at his phone in mild confusion, trying to figure out if there is anything he should be telling Mikey.

_*I love you Gee, but you are clueless when it comes to your heart. Look at Mikey. Tell me what you see.*_

_*I see my brother, hurting because someone who was supposed to care about him hurt him. I just wanna make all the hurting go away so he can be okay again.*_

 Gerard hits send and look back at Mikey. Frank seems to have a point he's trying to make but Gerard doesn't quite understand what.

Frank wanted to bang his head in frustration.

_*How would you feel if he died tonight and you couldn't find him?*_

*What the hell kind of bullshit question is that Frank?! You know damn well I'd be devastated, I love him, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if anything happened to him!*

Gerard looks at his phone like it's offended him somehow. What the hell is Frank's point?

_*And how would you feel if I died? Truthfully Gee.*_

_*I'd be really sad and I'd miss you.*_

Gerard hits send and then looks at the conversation. The contrast between how he feels about Mikey and how he feels about Frank is drastic.

_*When we were together you used to say you would die without me. Still feel like it's true?*_

Gerard looks at the message for a minute.

_*I...guess not. Not in the same way anyway.*_

_*Do you understand now?*_

Gerard looks up from his phone at Mikey where he's curled up, and it hits him. The way he described how'd feel without Mikey is the same thing he used to same about Frank. His head spins a little.

_*Yeah I think I do*_

_*I knew there was a reason we were friends. Good luck and I want the details in the morning.*_

_*Talk to you later.*_

 Gerard tosses his phone aside laughing at what a pervert Frank can be and looks up at Mikey again, he's still sleeping and still a mess but he's still Mikey. He sighs and gets up, he needs to get him awake and get him cleaned up.

"Mikey…"

 He pushes at his shoulder.

 "…time to wake up."

*groan*

"Gee?"

"Yeah, you gotta wake up."

He goes to the bathroom and grabs a cloth. He runs it under warm water and wrings it out a bit, before walking back out to Mikey and crouches beside the bed.

"Hurts. Everything hurts."

"Can you let me try and clean up your neck and face at least right now?" he says softly trying to get Mikey to sit up at least.

"Okay."

Mikey tried to sit up but fell back down.

**Start bending me.**  
**It's never enough**  
**I feel all your pieces.**

"Here."

He loops his arm around Mikey's waist to help him set up and lean him against the wall.

"You good?"

Mikey puts his arms around Gerard's neck but doesn't look him in the eyes. Gerard just lets him hold on to him and rests his face against the top of his head. He just breathes calmly and lets him rest.

 "I can't wash your face very easily if it's leaning against me."

Mikey let out a small chuckle. Gerard smiles at the sound of his brother's chuckle. He shifts the way he's sitting to see Mikey's face. He very gently wipes at his face with the cloth, wiping away any dirt or blood that dares to mark him. Mikey starts to cry again.

**Start bending me.**  
**Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in.**

"Hey, whoa! What's wrong?"

He stops and tilts Mikey's head up with a finger under his chin.

"I hate what he did to me. How he made me love him and then took it away. I hate that in my heart I feel like he was right and that I am not worth any love. That I will never find someone to love me for me."

Mikey starts to pull away from Gerard.

"That's not true, Mikey you have your friends and you've got your family,"

Gerard hesitates.

 "And you've always got me."

 He wanted to hug Mikey tighter but was afraid to hurt him. He sighs and presses his lips against Mikey's temple instead.

"I love you, Mikey."

**Shouldn't be so complicated.**  
**Just touch me and then…**  
**just touch me again.**

"Gee."

Mikey finally lifts his head and looks into Gerard's eyes.

"I love you too."

Gerard smiles at Mikey and hugs him tightly, just holding him and hoping he's not hurting him. He looks at Mikey's face, he got most of everything off his face, he very gingerly dabs at his neck with the cloth.

"Gee, I..."

"What?"

He hesitates.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No...I'm fine."

"What were you gonna say?"

"I should...get some sleep."

"Mikey, will you please let me take care of this so it can't get any worse?"

Gerard hangs his head.

"I just don't want it to get infected or something, I'm just trying to help."

"Sure Gee."

"I promise I'll leave you alone and quit bugging you after okay?"

He tries to work a little quicker but is so afraid of hurting Mikey. He cleans up his neck and once it's clean it doesn't look half as bad as it did.

"See, that's better. It's not as bad as it looked I guess."

 He gently and carefully lets go of Mikey and gets up to head for the bathroom to since out the cloth. Mikey watches him go. He feels horrible that he put his brother through all this. He didn't deserve to be stuck with a stupid little brother.

"Maybe I should have taken the pills." 

**Can you help me I'm bent?**  
**I'm so scared that I'll never, get put back together.**

Gerard's heart stops as he reaches the sink. There is no way he just heard that right. Please let him not have heard that right. Gerard rinses out the cloth, rings it almost dry and hangs it over the side of the sink. His eyes stinging as he fights to hold back tears, he stands there for a minute unsure if he should say anything to Mikey. He can't not say anything but what could he possibly say to make Mikey feel any better. He shakes his head and wipes at his eyes. He takes a deep breath and walks back out to look at Mikey.

"Mikey..."

He chokes.

"…please for the love of god tell me I did not just hear you right."

He looks at Mikey, dreading the response. Now Mikey feels even worse. He never meant for Gerard to know this.

"Mikey, please tell me I'm hearing things or going crazy because that would be better than knowing you're hurting so bad that you'd leave me."

Gerard sees the look on Mikey's face and it feels like someone it trying to crush his heart in his chest.

"I could never bear losing you, so please tell me that you did not just say what I think you did."

"I..."

Mikey scrambles up and tries to run for the stairs. He needs to get away and stop hurting people.

"Wait, Mikey, please!"

Gerard reaches out and grabs his wrist, not sure what he's going to do but not willing to risk losing Mikey again.

"I don't want you to be in pain like this, all I want is for you to be happy again, I love you and this...please stay."

He wraps his arms tightly around Mikey and gently presses his lips to Mikey's cheek, his eyes burning again.

"I don't deserve to have someone like you in my life. You deserve someone better. Someone who cares about hurting you."

**You're breaking me in and this is how we will end.  
With you and me landing.**

"What and you don't? Mikey if you didn't care you wouldn't think that, but either way you're wrong."

 He doesn't pull away to look Mikey in the eye, too afraid that seeing him crying will upset Mikey further.

"I'm no good for you!"

Mikey pushes away roughly.

"You'll never find anyone being stuck caring for me!"

Mikey backs away.

"You need to just leave me be and go find someone. Find someone like Frank. I know you didn't really want to leave him. That's what you deserve! Someone that will love you like he did."

"And what if that's not what I want anymore? I don't get to choose who I fall for and even if I could I wouldn't change it for anything. I care about you, Mikey, I always have, it's just different now."

Gerard says all this before he can stop himself. He winces and waits for the other shoe to drop.

"Fall for? What do you mean Gerard? Of course, you get to choose. You get to choose and be happy and love them free and clear. That is what true love is about. That is what you deserve and you will never get that with me standing in your way!"

**Without understanding, can I go there again.**

**Can you help me, I'm bent?**

"I mean exactly what it sounds like I mean Mikey."

 Gerard stands there, there's no turning back now.

"And no, real, honest-to-god falling for someone, you don't get to choose that. Yes you can choose to like people and to care about them to some degree, but you know it's real when it hits you like a wall and it's terrifying but it's the best feeling in the world when loving someone is as easy as breathing. True love chooses you, and then it's up to you to accept it. You're not standing in my way Mikey so don't think for a second that you are."

Gerard steps closer to Mikey carefully.

"Real love, is when the person you love being happy makes you happier than you've ever been in your life and when seeing them hurting makes your blood boil or your heart feel like it's being crushed."

"You make me happy Gee. No one else, but you. I...I was caught up in everything...Pete. I guess...I was trying to find a way out for you."

Mikey bites his lip and picks as his fingernails. He is standing there cold and vulnerable. Letting in all the feelings he has pushed aside for the past two years. If Gerard didn't accept them...he didn't even want to think about what he would do.

"And if I didn't want that way out? If I didn't take it?"

Mikey looked up at his big brother, his everything. He took a deep shuddering breath.

"Then show me. Show me why."

**I'm so scared that I'll never, get put back together.**

Gerard hesitates, unsure if Mikey really means it but the look on his face is hard to read. Gerard decides this is gonna go one of two ways, either he's definitely getting slapped or Mikey could be alright with it. He closes the space between them and kisses Mikey, holding his jaw in one hand and resting the other on Mikey's hip. Mikey freezes for a second. He never thought this would happen, then he is melting. He wraps his arms around Gerard and never wants to let go. Gerard pulls Mikey tight against him, deepening the kiss and feeling beyond relieved that Mikey didn't slap him. Mikey is delirious with happiness. It leaks out in the form of a giggle. He doesn't mean it, but he starts to laugh and cry. Gerard smiles at Mikey but doesn't move or let go of him. The sound of his laugh makes Gerard's heart feel light and he loves it. He brings his hand up to wipe away the tears, though. He kisses Mikey's cheek.

 "Why are you crying?"

"I never thought...I mean, two years I was...and you were with Frank...and..."

**You're breaking me in and this is how we will end…**

Mikey was still crying and laughing, the moment was absurd.

"I know, and I took my sweet time realizing how I felt and I'm sorry for that."

"How about I shower and we can snuggle in bed and watch a movie?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

He smiles and loosens his grip on Mikey so he can move away from him. Mikey steps out and holds Gerard's hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss.

"Unless..."

Gerard looks at him in mild confusion. "Unless what?"

"...unless you want to join me?"

He chuckles, "That sounds like an idea I could be alright with."

Mikey smiles and leads Gerard to the bathroom.

**With you and me bent.**


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don’t want to lose you now that I just found you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So as we were writing this, we realized that the original story didn't need the other ending that we did. It was kind of perfect before it and blended with the lyrics better...however, we had 1000 words of rated R content and it _is_ a shame to let it go to waste, so here you go, a little epilogue or the morning after. ^-^
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

They were cuddling on Gerard's bed now tucked into the covers. Mikey's skin was still pink from the shower, part from the water and part from Gerard's exploration of him. They didn't do anything other than kiss, but Gerard's hands wandered all over him and it felt better than anything had ever before. The movie was half over, but Mikey couldn't stop thinking about everything and what could have happened. Gerard was holding him and caressing his hip in slow circles. It felt wonderful. Mikey was going to say something, but instead, he yawned. Gerard tried to pay attention to the movie, but with Mikey cuddled up beside him it was harder to focus than he'd ever have thought. Every time Mikey shifted or moved Gerard would be drawn back to looking at him, still in disbelief that this was all real. It made him smile, though. He was glad it was at least a movie he'd seen before. Mikey pushed into Gerard's warmth more. He wanted more, but he didn't know how to ask. He yawned again closing his eyes a bit. Gerard and chuckled.

 "Sleepy?"

"Mmmm, content more like it."

Gerard kissed the side of Mikey's head and sighed. This felt right; this was how it was supposed to be. "Good."

"We should sleep, though. It is late and there is school in the morning."

"I don't have to work until the afternoon, but yeah I should still sleep.”

Gerard is hoping that Mikey doesn't go over to his own bed.

"Can I stay with you?"

"If you want to."

Mikey smiled and leaned up to kiss Gerard.

"Thank you."

Gerard cuddles into his pillow and hugs Mikey tight, kissing him and whispering good night to him, leaving the TV going like they often did.

*

*

*

Mikey can hear the birds, but he is ignoring them. He cracks an eye open and sees it's light out. He groans and goes to turn and finds someone with him. He opens his eyes more and smiles remembering everything from last night. He leans up and kisses Gerard.

"Good morning."

Gerard blinks his eyes open and smiles.

"Morning."

He kisses him back.

"Mmmm, I like waking up like this."

Mikey moves up to kiss more. Gerard hums in agreement. He loosens his arms around Mikey so he can easily move and lets his hands wander a bit. Mikey shivers, but it is a good feeling. He loves when Gerard touches him. He continues to move till he is in Gerard's lap. Gerard wakes up a bit more as Mikey moves, kissing him more eagerly. He rests his hand on Mikey's hips. Mikey shifts up a bit and lets out a small moan. The sound Mikey makes sends a shiver up Gerard’s spine and he loves knowing that it was because of him.

"More."

"You sure?"

 Gerard’s voice is barely above a whisper.

Mikey reaches down and gently grabs Gerard.

"I need you."

Gerard groans and pushes up against Mikey.

"Please, Gee."

Gerard kisses Mikey again and pushes him to the side to roll them over, pinning Mikey underneath him.

Mikey sighs. He likes when Gerard takes control like this. Gerard kisses Mikey, running a hand down his side to pull at the hem of his shirt and tugging it up. Mikey lifts his arms and lets his shirt go.

"Now you."

He tugs at Gerard's shirt.

Gerard lets Mikey pull his shirt over his head and leans down to kiss him again. Mikey runs his hands over Gerard's pale skin. He still can't believe it is okay to touch him like this. He pulls away and begins nibbling on his jaw working his way down to his collar bone. Gerard moans softly, loving the feeling of what Mikey is doing, and finding it so hard to believe this isn't just some crazy dream. Mikey lifts his hips up pushing into Gerard's.

"Please, Gee. Please."

"Shit Mikey."

He groans and lifts Mikey's hips to get rid of his pajama pants and boxers, his own quickly following.

This is what Mikey wanted, skin to skin, nothing between them. He opened his legs and wrapped them around Gerard's waist. Gerard pushed his hips against Mikey's, grinning and kissing him, creating enough friction to send shocks running through his body.

"Fuck, oh God, Gee."

Mikey pressed his body further rutting against Gerard. He pulled him into for another kiss as he chased his orgasm. He moans at the sound of his name coming from Mikey's mouth like this. Gerard kisses at Mikey's throat and runs his hands down his body loving every new wave of sensations. Mikey continues to rut upwards looking for that friction. He doesn't know if it would be better if Gerard slipped his hand down there or to just get off like this. Gerard knows he won't last much longer as he feels the pressure build. He ruts against Mikey a little faster, claiming his mouth and kissing him deep and moaning into it. Mikey swallows the moan along with his own as he arches his back cumming hard. Gerard quickly follows Mikey, moaning loudly, his legs shaking slightly. Mikey loses focus for a moment as he comes down from the high of his orgasm. He cards his hand through Gerard's hair and is about to say something when the alarm goes off on his side of the room.

"Fuck."

"Shit,"

Gerard mutters.

 "Guess it's time for you to get up before you're late."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Mikey laughed as Gerard did nothing to move. He kissed him again.

"Join me in the shower again?"

"Is that the best idea? You've got a time limit." Gerard grins and sits up.

"So we just shower...this time."

Gerard laughs.

"Alright, sounds good...this time."

He kisses Mikey again then carefully stands up and offers Mikey his hand.

With no shame, Mikey stands up and kisses Gerard.

"So what happens when our parents come home?"

"What they don't know won't hurt them."

Gerard shakes his head.

"They'd lose their minds if they knew."

"I don’t want to lose you now that I just found you."

Mikey hugged Gerard tightly. Gerard leans into the embrace.

"You won't, not ever. We just don't tell them, that's all, they'd never assume anyway."

 He kisses Mikey's forehead.

"Don't worry about it."

Mikey sighed.

"Okay, Gee."

He took Gerard's hand and led him to the bathroom once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! if you want the same chance to talk, hang in DMs, or even write something with me, come join my twitter @momijineyuki ! You won't be disappointed! ^-^


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